Love vs Hate

Wellll...a lot of you probably read my love dove Stacy's blog today about me. She is an awesome blogger and I'm totally impressed with her skills :) She challenged us to do a love/hate of our selves so I just kinda started thinking about it. What do i love about my life? What do I hate? How are these things related, if at all? Here we go.....



Loveee

-I love my Rylee Emily Watson. She is THE most precious, amazing, wonderful, silly, and loving little girl I have ever met. ( I know, I know...I'm a little partial :]) She literally makes the world go round for me. I'm loving the stage we are in (16 months), so much learning and growing happening right now. She literally makes my heart swell, just at the thought of her. I can't imagine life without her, I can hardly remember life before her. She is amazing :)

-I love my singing voice. I'm no professional, let me be the first to tell you. But, man do I love to sing! Especially to the Lord. I recently joined the praise and worship team at my church, and it feels like home sweet home. For me, it is something to be proud of, because there are a lot of things about me...that I'm not so sure about...

-I love my relationship with the Lord. It has taken on new meaning for me in the past year. God has always been a huge part of my life, ever since I was born. My parents are amazing Christians, and raised me in a loving, Christian home. I think I took for granted how important God really was. I made some mistakes...yes I had sex before I got married (this was a HUGE deal to me)...and kinda put other things before God for awhile. He was always there in the background, and I really missed Him a lot. After Rylee was born, I really wanted to start going to church again....I neeeeeeded it. When I moved back to CA, I started going to church, and Chance refused to go with me. This was heartbreaking for me, but I stayed strong and went alone, or with Casey. It was great for me. Now since moving home and going through all this crap, my relationship with Him has totally blossomed. I love my church (Faith Country) if you want to come with me, let me know :). I love that I found Him again.

-I love my family and friends. More than I can ever tell you. My family is amazing, and the bond we have is crazy special. I think us being, non-blood related makes us stronger. We love each other, because without each other we would be nothing. Its pretty awesome. We might gripe about one another, but we would stick up for one another in a heart beat. My friends are freakin awesome. Literally, I do not know how people get along in life without friends. I would probably die, lol. I miss my military friends like crazy...you will never know what I mean unless you were a military wife. We shared so many crazy hard times together, and so many fantastically fun times. My TX friends have given me fresh air in my lungs, and keep me going everyday. I love you ALL!!!!

-I love who I am. Even though I'm not totally happy with certain things about myself, I love being me, and being who I am. I love my laugh, I love my goofiness, and I love my love for life. I'm so happy with who I am, I know where I stand, who I believe in, and who I love.



Hate :/

-I hate being single. After eight freaking years of being with someone...being single is awful. I'm lonely a lot. I miss having a partner. I miss always having someone to talk to. I miss having sex...yep I sure did just say that, because its true. I miss being a family. Booo...enough of that one.

-I hate being fat. I hate that eating is such a struggle. I want to punch fatness in its ugly face. I know I'll never be perfect, but hopefully one day soon, I can be happy with my weight. Hopefully....

-I hate the devil. He has screwed up my life, but God has been there to pick up the pieces. I hate the control that the devil has placed on certain people in my life. Devil you can suck it...

-I hate being dependent on my parents. I don't really hate this...its just a transition period, and I'm very grateful for them. Its just hard after being on your own for so long, to come back and be so dependent on them. Luckily, they are more than happy to help, and so loving about it. I'm a very blessed woman.



Ok, so how do these compare? I think that obviously my love for God, and hate for the devil go hand in hand. I wish I was skinny so I could love ALL of me haha. Being single has led me to being dependent on my family, but I know both of those things will NOT last forever. I will be happily in love again, and I will not live with my parents forever :)

Thanks for reading this if you did...this was an I can not sleep blog (which is totally weird for me). Hopefully I can get over this and have sweet dreams the rest of the night :)

-Adell

Summa Lovin...kinda!

Summer 2010 has been crazy busy! I left my job the last week of May, and started going to school the following week on June 1st...full time!!!! I'm taking a total of 12 hours this summer which is a lot for summer. I am taking four classes, some of them spread out. I am taking statistics ALL summer long...it is a T/TH class at 8am! What was I thinking?? I was thinking that I just wanted to get it done lol. This is the last week of Summer I session, so I will be done with 2 classes...English 2328 which is American Lit. I was really nervous about it because typically I don't like reading stuff that somebody tells me to read (rebellious much??) but it was actually a good class. At first I didn't think the teacher liked me, but once I told her I was getting divorced and had a young baby, she felt we had something in common. Her husband just left her about 3 years ago after a long marriage. So anyways, I'm doing well in that class. Then I'm also taking a special education course. This is a required course, and after taking it, I really don't have any desire to teach special ed. It seems very stressful to me, and emotional. Anyone that knows me, knows I don't need anymore emotion in my life lol! Those classes have been everyday M-TH at 10:30 and at 3. So as you can see my schedule has been really full!

The school I go to, UTPB, is in Odessa which is about 20 miles from Midland. It isn't too bad, but sometimes I get tired of driving over here. I better get used to it though...2 more years of it everyday!

Rylee bear has been having a busy summer too! She goes to play with Lauren on Mondays and Tuesdays and she started Mother's Day Out on Wed/Thurs. She LOVES it! She is so stinking social and loves to play so it was just right up her alley. Fridays I am off of school, so it is usually Mommy-Rylee day! I'm loving spending more time with her and she has been really good about taking naps around the same time when I'm home with her....the first sign of a schedule and I'm soooo happy about it!

We went to a family reunion mid-June with all of our family on my mom's side. My mom's best friend has a HUGE...AMAZING lake house in Kingsland and we stayed there for 4 days. It was wonderful until Rylee got sick, and the AC went out in our room. But it was still a good time!

We had planned a vacation to Colorado in August, but Mom's new teacher in-service is that week, so it wasn't going to work out. She was bound and determined that we are going on a vacation so she threw one together for next week! lol...I suggested Austin and that is where we are going! We are staying at an RV park, but Rylee and I get to stay in a cabin with Mom's friend GG. We are going on a trainride, and a bat cruise (super excited about this) and just gonna have some fun! They are going on Wed, but I think I'm going to fly there on Thursday because I have class, praise and worship, and I really don't feel like driving by myself with Rylee. She screamed the entire way home from Kingsland because she didn't feel good, and I just don't think I can handle that all alone lol.

Well that is kinda what is going on with me right now. Life is good, can't complain...and I love it that way!

Quesadilla Casserole!

This is a recipe that we eat pretty regularly at our house! I found it in the Rachael Ray's magazine a few months ago, and we have probably made it six times since then. It is SO delicious! My aunt asked me for a few new recipes because she was tired of always cooking the same thing, and this is one I suggested for her! She asked for the recipe, so here it is!! I really hope ya'll try it, because it is easy and GOOD! Would also be great for doing dinners for people with new babies or sick loved ones! I really hope ya'll enjoy this as much as we do at the Curry-house! Yummm!



Ingredients
•3 tablespoons vegetable oil
•3/4 cup onion, chopped
•1 can black beans (29 ounces), drained, 1/2 cup liquid reserved, divided
•1 1/2 cups frozen corn kernels, thawed
•1/2 cup flat leaf parsley, chopped
•5 10-inch flour tortillas
•8 ounces shredded Monterey Jack cheese
•1 cup store-bought green enchilada sauce

Preparation
Pre-heat the oven to 400˚F.

In a skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook for 5 minutes. Add half of the beans and mash into a chunky paste. Stir in the reserved liquid.

Grease a heavy, ovenproof skillet. In a bowl, combine the corn, parsley and remaining black beans. Place a tortilla in the skillet and spread with 1/3 cup of the mashed black bean mixture. Top with 2/3 cup of the corn-bean mixture and 1/2 cup cheese. Press to compress the layers. Repeat with the remaining tortillas, mashed black beans, corn-bean mixture and cheese.

Bake until the cheese is melted and the casserole is heated through, about 30 minutes. Transfer to the broiler and cook for 1 minute. Serve with the enchilada sauce.

Baked Mac & Cheese Recipe

About two weeks ago, I made some baked mac and cheese for my family and posted a picture of it up on facebook. Several people asked for the recipe, which I totally stole out of Southern Living magazine. But let me tell you...it was delicious!!! They also said you can cut the calories down a ton, by using low-fat milk and low-fat cheese. Probably won't taste as good, but with all things in moderation it might be ok to eat it regularly with a tossed salad and maybe some baked chicken on the side!! We ate it with baked chicken, salad, and bread...fattening but it was all delicious! I hope ya'll enjoy it :) **One hint for this to be so delish is to use a block of cheese and shred it yourself like they say, I'm telling you it makes ALL the difference!!!**

Ingredients:
1 (8oz) package elbow macaroni
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground red pepper (i used paprika for flavor & color but no hot-ness)
1 (8oz) block sharp Cheddar cheese shredded and divided

Preparation:
1. Prepare pasta according to package directions.

2. Melt butter into a large saucepan over medium-low heat; after melted whisk in flour and whisk it constantly for two minutes (you want it to look kinda like the color of peanut-butter) Gradually whisk in milk, and cook, whisking constantly for about five minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat. Stir in salt, black and red pepper (or whatever you use for seasoning) 1 cup shredded cheese, and cooked pasta.

3. Spoon pasta mixture into a lightly greased baking dish (or into small greased ramicans *I did this for a more fun personalized twist!!*) and top with the remaining 1 cup of cheese! **yummmmy* :)

4. Bake at 400 for about 20 mins or until bubbly. Let it sit for about ten minutes before you serve it!

5. EnJoY!!

Been Lazy!

Sooo I've been a little lazy this past month..I haven't really had much to talk about honestly. Life has just been kinda ticking away, and the time goes SO fast!

This past month I made a huge decision. I decided, after talking it over with my parents, to stop working full time and go back to school to finish my degree. Last year, I finished my associates degree when I was pregnant with Rylee and I will receive my diploma in May. I decided not to walk the stage at Midland College, because I want to save the big graduation for my bachelor's degree. I'm REALLY excited about going back to school. It has taken me forever, but mostly because of all the moving around I have been doing the past five years. I'm excited to improve myself and have some direction in my life!

Most of you know that I really appreciate my job that I have now, but it is SO boring! I have learned a lot, but there is no room for me to move up here and I can't work a $12.00/hr job forever. I love living with my parents, but the only way I will ever be able to move out and be on my own is to marry "Prince Charming" or to get my degree and have a career that can support me and Rylee. I do not want to rent again, so the goal is to buy a house! One day....haha.

Rylee has been sick this past week. I was SO worried that it was going to be ear infections, but praise the Lord, it was a throat infection (horrible, but better than ear infections!!) She started feeling bad on Friday afternoon and was running a little fever. We had a garage sale of Saturday morning so I had no time deal with a sick baby. We were up late getting everything ready, and posting signs, and lucking my mom helped with Rylee.

Saturday morning she woke up running fever again. She seemed OK off and on during the day and then started running a pretty high fever (101.1). On Sunday she was miserable, really fussy and her fever got up to 103.1. I knew then that I would have to take her to the doctor on Monday. We woke up on Monday and she was SO hot! It went away for a little while after the tylenol, but she wasn't eating much at all, just drinking milk. I couldn't get into the doctor until 2:00, and when we got there she was running a 102.4 fever. They did a strep test, and thank goodness she didn't have that. He checked her ears and said they were good, and looked at her throat and said it was SO red. He suggested we give her motrin instead of tylenol because it really helps with the pain. Once we started the motrin she seemed better. On Tuesday morning, she was still running fever so that meant another day at home. Her fever broke that morning and she seemed better, but man was she one cranky girl! She refused to nap and fought sleep all day, even when it was 9:30 PM and she was so tired. I finally got her to sleep, but it was a rest-less night. Needless to say, she went to Lauren's this morning and slept until NOON! I'm sure she will be feeling much better by the time I get to her later this evening!

Lauren and Bryan's reception is coming up next week, and I finally found a dress for it. Callie's wedding is in less than 6 weeks!! AHHHHH!! I can't believe how fast time has flown! I remember the moment she called me to tell me she was engaged! I'm so happy for both of them, and I really hope both of their days turn out perfectly. I know they are both going to be tons of fun! I really need a date to both of them, since there is dancing involved, but I don't have anybody to ask :( sad day!!!! LOL...

I'm excited for the next step in life of going back to school and it absolutely proof that LIFE GOES ON!!!!

<3 Adell

Well, I haven't really had much to blog about lately! Its been pretty boring around our house lately because my family is on vacation. My mom's best friend Susan, aka GG, is staying at the house with me this week to help out with the doggies. It probably wasn't really necessary for her to stay since Mom took the two most needy dogs with her, but I appreciate the company. Those of you that know me, know that I hate being alone! Boringgg! I love just being around people. Sometimes I like quiet time, but usually not for too long! I spent the first two evenings of the week hanging out with friends, first on Monday night with Mary and Callie. We ate vegetable spaghetti and were planning on working out, but of course we ended up in Landon's room playing with the babies and talking away about everything under the sun! I LOVE those nights with my amazing friends. On Tuesday night I went to pick up Rylee and Lauren and Bryan's families were all there and invited us to join them for dinner. The men were working on a fence that they are building to hold their cow that they are getting. Yep, a cow! I am kinda excited that Rylee gets to see a cow and spend her time with all of those wonderful people that love her as if she were a part of their family. She loves being at Lauren's house and loves to play outside. She was absolutely perfect last night when we took the babies on a walk around the park a few times. I really think she just enjoyed being out in the sunshine. I know she loves to play out at Lauren's house, and on the weekends, when the weather is nice, she LOVES to be outside just walking in the grass and enjoying the sun. What a JOY she is! Its amazing to me how she doesn't even know the kinda crummy situation going on around her, because all she knows is that she is loved by so many, and she loves us back with everything she has! I miss her so much during the day, but I don't really have a choice in that...this is one of those things that makes me want to hate Chance. I know I can't hate him because he is Rylee's dad, but I want to. Maybe it would make it easier if I hated him. The Lord says to forgive, and I'm trying. Its gonna take me awhile....but I want to. Forgiveness has always been hard for me, because I am SO sensitive about everything. I take everything personally, but this is an issue that I"m allowed to take personally, because it is personal. Somebody fell out of love with me, and left me with our three month old daughter to just "move on." I know that his life is probably not all peaches and cream like he tries to play off, but still, I wish I could just forget about him and all the crap that has happened to us, but obviously that isn't going to happen. I guess I just have to wait and be patient with myself and give myself time to heal...one thing I know for sure....Life Goes On!

MoNdAy

Ugh, I'm so ready for today to already be over! I woke up late today...I think this is the worst way to start a day! I was just snoozing away when I heard my phone go off letting me know I had a text message. I thought, "Who in the world is texting me so early?" Well it wasn't early. I laid there for a minute, then realized it had been awhile since I had last checked the clock. My alarm had not gone off :( It was 8:05...I am supposed to be at work at 8:00. Seriously?!?!?! Luckily Lauren texted me asking if I was awake...my reply was "nope" and hers was "was that on purpose" and mine was "nope!" Well of course, today was the day I HAD to take a shower. No options there, so of course, Rylee wakes up when I do because I am frantic. So nobody else is home because my family is out of town, so I have to take Rylee into the bathroom with me, while I take a shower. She was grouchy and just wanted to be held. I jumped in the shower and Rylee was crying...and trying to pull open the shower curtain. I had to hold the shower curtain closed with my foot and try and wash my hair balancing on one foot with Rylee screaming in the background. It was super fun! haha! Finally got done with that and got ready as quickly as possible! I had to get Rylee dressed and out the door. I knew it was supposed to be chilly today and a chance of rain, but didn't look outside while I was getting ready. So as I am leaving it is pouring outside. My hair that I just fixed is now soaking wet! Grrr! Anyways, I rushed to get Rylee to Lauren's and made it to work about an hour and ten minutes late. What a way to start the week! AHH! Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it. I just hate being late and I being disappointing to my job. I know its just a job, and its not really that important to me. But I do try to always do my best and be on time. Its just been a frustrating couple of months with Rylee being so sick and I have had to take off way more work than I would like. I guess its just life!

Rylee started growling this weekend. It is SO cute! Helen and I can growl at her and she does it back. She is also saying Uh-Oh and Un-Un (like no). Getting so smart! I am going to order your baby can read and Lauren is going to use it! I'm pretty excited about that!

Well, its time for me to head to lunch, I'm going to go tan and run to the house to get my work out clothes so that Mary, Callie, and I can work out tonight at Mary's house. We usually do Zumba on Mondays but I don't have a sitter for Rylee. So we will probably have more fun this way anyways!

Hope everyone's Monday is better than how my morning started out!

American Idol!

So as most of you know, I am an American Idol addict! I LOVE this show and I have loved it for a long time! I got into when we lived in Maryland, and I just fell in love! I even got my parents addicted to it...we watch it religiously every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I have to say, this year, I am a little disappointed in the contestants. There are some that I really like, but I think that the judges really picked some that didn't deserve to be there :( I kinda feel disappointed in some of the songs choices they have made, and sometimes the judges drive me CRAZY! They tell the contestants to sing a song, but to make it their own...then when they actually do change it, they have something to critize and say that it sounds too different that the original?!?!? I am so confused! I feel sorry for those poor people!

I hope that now we are down to the final 12, that they can figure it out! I hope those people can get up there and sing like stars! I want another Kelly Clarkson! Btw, I went to see her in concert a few years ago and she was AH-mazing! I love her to death, and that girl can sing live! It was sooooo good! I would love to go again!

Well, that is my American Idol thoughts so far.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I have NO plans, and my family is going on vacation (without me :/) on Sunday...just me and Rylee for a whole week! I am kinda looking forward to having her all to myself, but I don't like to be alone! I just wish I could go, but oh well. Life goes on right?!?!? :)

Recovery!

Well I think I have recovered from the past weekend! What a wonderful weekend full of ups and downs. More ups and than downs, and I'm learning quickly to not let the downs get me so down! The weekend started out Friday night, leaving straight from work and heading to the airport to pick up Nicole and Isabella! Rylee and I got there a few minutes early and I was SO ancy! Rylee was wearing these shoes that squeak when she walks and so she was walking over the place just squeaking away! Everyone thought she was so cute :) Finally the place arrived, and tons of people kept coming down the stairs...and more and more and more, but none of them MY people! Finally she came down and I was balling as soon as I saw her and Bella. She was yelling at me from the top of the stairs, "Do NOT cry, Adell!!!" So Nicole! :) The very first time I met Nicole was the same way, I picked her up from the San Diego Airport the day before our husbands came home from their first deployment in November 2007. She came flying down the escalator as Stacy and I waited for her and she just walked right up and hugged me! I knew we would be great friends from that moment on. So anyways, we got the babies loaded up and headed into Midland. We went to grab some food, and went to the house. Of course, it was wild! Dogs and kids and babies, and all that fun stuff. We finally sat down and ate. We hung out for a little bit and tried to get the babies to sleep before we had to go pick up Casey from the airport. Rylee went down but kept waking back up and Bella was WIDE awake! It amazes me that even babies that young know when they aren't in their normal surroundings. We were getting ready to leave for the airport when Casey texted me saying she was there...I was SO mad! She was like 25 minutes early! I wanted to be there, waiting at the bottom of the stairs like I was earlier. I was SO sad :( Luckily we live in Midland and it only takes about 10 minutes to get to the airport, so we rused there, and I ran in and found her! I was so happy to hug her neck! She has been a wonderful friend for the past year. We kinda knew of each other in Maryland, but didn't really meet until she and her ex moved to California. She and Nicole were great friends and after Rylee was born and I moved down there, she pretty much became a part of my family! They just lived right up the street, and since both of our marriages were totally sucky, we spent tons of time together! Needless to say, moving away after three months was really hard on us! We were both going through divorces, and a thousand miles apart from each other :( It def sucked. But now, here we were in Midland hugging each other with all we have and SO happy to see each other. We ended up going to the store and getting her some food before we went home. Rylee was crashed out and Casey was so bummed, but she got to hold her. Its amazing how fast the babies grow and even though I send pictures of Rylee all the time, she couldn't believe how big she was and how much hair she had! haha!

We had a wonderful time, and even though we didn't really get to go and do a lot of stuff, I really enjoyed just spending time and yacking away with my girls until late at night, drinking Arbor Mist :)

The birthday party was a HUGE success! Chance almost didn't make it, because he slept through his alarm (Jerk Alert!!!) and I almost let it ruin my day. Somehow he was able to catch a quick flight that got him here on time, but needless to say, the disappointment there was strong.

We had to move the party to Midland Christian's gym because it was a little rainy. It ended up turning out fabulous!!!! We had a giant pink castle jumper that the kids, and adults, enjoyed! The decorations were so cute, and I really think everyone had a great time! It was very special to have all of our wonderful friends and family there to help celebrate Rylee's first year! I will try to get some pictures sent out, and uploaded. There are some under Lauren's facebook page and I am tagged in the so you can see them there too!

Casey had to leave at the end of the party, but her flight got cancelled when she got there!! Can we say EXCITED?!?!?! I was so ecstatic! One more night with one of my best friends! So we hung out again that night, we were all exhausted after the weekend, and so we didn't stay up too late. I had to get up and take Casey to the airport early that morning, and we made a Whataburger stop for some breakfast. After dropping her off, we all got ready and took Nicole and Bella to Graham Pharmacy for lunch, and then over to a consignment shop here in Midland called Daisy's that sells all the bows that I put on Rylee's head. Nicole went crazyyyy! Bella had like no bows, which is just not acceptable :) so she bought her a HUGE stockpile of bows and bands! Let me tell you, that beautiful girl is going to be getting all the attention now with her beautiful big bows!! :)

Chance came over after I had to take them to the airport (major sadface here) and we ran a few errands, and ate dinner. It was weird. I was so ready for him to leave, which sounds so terrible, but I do just fine when he is not around, and when he is here, I have all these feelings that come flooding back. I just wanted him to go away so the feelings would too. It worked! He left on Tuesday morning, and I'm back to my normal happy Adell again!

Getting back into work has been ok, I just hate working in general, but I guess I just need to get over it!

Recovery has been speedy this time around and I'm very happy about that! I miss my friends, and sometimes I miss being married, but not to him. I love my daughter, family, friends and life. Thank you Lord for blessing beyond what I can see sometimes!

CNB!!!

Welp, less than 10 hours to go until one of the planes arrives!!!!! I can't stinking wait to hug some California people! (Well technically they are Florida and Kansas people, but still....) I am sure today is going to drag FOREVER!!!! So far, its doing ok, its already 8:45 and that isn't too bad. Hopefully it will speed right along!

Last night I could not go to sleep, I was so hyper and excited. My mom and sister were looking at me like I was a crazy person! haha! It's been awhile since I was this happy and excited about something. This morning I woke up earlier than normal and took a shower and all that stuff, and I was still late! For some strange reason I can't seem to get out the door until 7:30 no matter what time I get up....I can't explain it...but it drives me crazy! I hate being late, and I wasn't nearly as bad until I had a baby. Now I am late all the time! That is something I am really going to start working on.

Last night, Callie and I had a great time eating fattening food (why we do this to ourselves we will probably never know :D) and running around with the babies! Rylee and Landon really enjoy each other better now than they have for awhile. The stare at each other, and try to feed each other. Its so cute! We got a lot done at Sam's, we made it right before they closed. I still have a few things I need to pick up, but for the most part, I think we are ready!

My mom painted our hallway this week, because she swore up and down it needed it. Nobody else thought it looked bad, but I must say that it looks really nice now that its done! There were a lot of picture holes in what we used to call "The Hall of Currys" and now it is fresh and open. She is going to put new frames up, and they will probably be big collages but I think it will look good. Everybody always loves our house, because my mom has really made an effort to make it very homey and beautiful. She is very talented in this, and should probably be an interior decorator! She has always done a great job helping me with my apartments, and I am sure she will continue to help in the future too! She is pretty awesome!

Well, I guess I better get back to work, I have lots of little things that I can do, so I should be busy today! Running a few errands at work, and then I'll be back to waiting for 6:30!! Can't wait for this fabulous weekend!

Is it Friday YET?!?!

Well today is Thursday, and I'm sure this day is going to go by very slowly!! All I can think about right now is that tomorrow is Friday and I have to work all day, but I get rewarded at the end of the day to head straight to the airport after work to pick up Nicole and Bella Boo! After we grab a bite to eat and get settled in, we head back to the airport to pick up my Casey Wasey! I am simply bubbling with excitement!!! I have always wanted some of my military friends to come to West Texas and see where I grew up and what I'm all about. I have had the opportunity to go the Illinois a few times with Erin to see her roots and her home, and I loved that experience! I'm just really excited to see and hug them...its been a LONG time since August!! So now, the waiting game begins! It's almost here though :) The light at the end of the tunnel has appeared!

Yesterday I explained that Callie and I were going to Wall Street Bar & Grill for lunch, and we had a GREAT time!! Our waiter was super cute and actually hit on me :) It was pretty exciting, considering that doesn't ever happen to me. It totally put a smile on my face for the rest of my day, even though I'm sure he just wanted a good tip! Haha! We are going back next week, so we will see!!

As some of you know, Callie is getting married in May. I am SOOOO excited for her, and the date is coming up fast. I really wanted to lose a lot of weight before the wedding, but it just isn't happening! Its so hard for me, and losing weight is such a struggle. I am a food addict, and even though I work out some, I can't seem to find the strenght to give up my comfort foods. I am really hoping I can lose at least a little before the wedding. I have to lose at least ten pounds so I can fit into the dress! I ordered a size smalled so I have to lose some. I think I have lost a little, but not nearly the amount I want to. This is going to be a struggle for forever for me...unfortunately.

Nothing much going on at work today, and I don't have lunch plans. I really need to run a couple of errands, so hopefully I can get that done. Tonight, Callie and Landon will be joining Rylee and I on a trip to Sam's to get supplies for the party! We need about 100 hot dogs and buns, chips for 45 people (YEPPP 45ish!!!) as well as dip, fruit, and drinks. I am thinking it will probably be easier to just do lemonade, tea and water in big pitchers. My mom has this really pretty, tall glass drink server so I will definitely be using that. I also need some more plates, cups, and probably some silverware and napkins, just to be safe. I bought some really cute decorations at Kohl's, it was actually Valentine's decor but they had cupcakes all over, so they totally work! I also ordered a big package thing for first birthdays with a cupcake theme! It came with a pinata, balloons, plates, decor...all kinds of stuff!!!! We also ordered a princess jumper for all the big kids, and I'm sure Rylee will be right in there with them! Its going to be quite a big affair, but I am really hoping everyone has a great time! I love that girl, and I want her first birthday to be spectacular!

So, here we are waiting patiently for Friday....hoping everyone's Thursday goes quickly!

Blogging??

Well, I decided that I should jump on the bandwagon and start a blog! I am actually hoping to keep up with it, and share the daily adventures of me and Rylee.

Yesterday, Rylee turned ONE!!! I can't even believe it has been a year. Most of you know how stressful this past year has been on me, and I think that all the stress made time move a little quicker. Sometimes I feel like I have been a little cheated out of some of my time with Rylee. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and unfortunately that is not an option anymore. I got to spend the first four months with Rylee, but with the separation of Chance and I, I am now a single mom having to work to provide everything for myself and my daughter.

I am very blessed to have a ton of help from my parents, so I am not having to worry about rent and all of those things. Sometimes this is great, and sometimes it is really hard for me to deal with. I feel like I have taken a HUGE step backwards. I love living with my family, don't get me wrong, but I am 25 and have been out on my own for 6 years already. Now I am back to living with my parents and being dependent upon them. They have made it very clear that they are more than happy to have us there, and that we are welcome to stay as long as we want, even forever if need be. I will not live with my parents forever, but I am very thankful to have the opportunity to live with them now and take advantage of the help and advice that they give with raising Rylee. I can't help but struggle with feeling a little depressed about it though. I really try not to be, but somedays its just the way it is.

For the past nine months, I have been working at Pat Gray Body Works, a car body shop here in Midland. I really do like this job, for the most part. I have learned a LOT! There is a lot of downtime though, and I get bored a lot. I don't handle boredom well. I like to be busy. That is honestly the only thing that I don't like about my job, besides the fact that I have to have a job in the first place! :) I am planning on keeping this job for awhile, but I really want to go back to school very soon and work part time. I am so tired of putting it off, and I want to have a career, not just a job. If I have to work, I better make the best of it...right?!?!

Today is Wednesday and I have a lunch date with Callie, my very best friend in Midland. This girl has pretty much kept me sane. I don't know how I would have gotten through the past year, actually 2 years!!!, without her. We are going to Wall Street Bar & Grill for lunch, and we joke that all of posting on Facebook about each other are always about food :) We spend lots of time over the table eating good food, and talking about everything under the sun. Lots of good talks have come out of our lunch and dinner dates!

Today I am also getting my hair trimmed after work, so I can attempt to look my best for Rylee's birthday party on Sunday.

The party has turned into a HUGE event! I am very excited about it. My two wonderful friends from California, Nicole and Casey are flying in on Friday night, and I can NOTT wait! Nicole is bringing her daughter, Bella that I have never met!! Chance and I split up when she was pregnant and I flew to California to surprise her for her baby shower. My flight was delayed and I ended up only getting to spend about 8 hours with them, but it was very refreshing. We have a lot of memories together and we needed some friend time. So anyways, I can't wait to see Bella, Nicole, and Casey. I miss them so very much!

Chance is also coming to Rylee's party on Sunday. He is flying in, and I'm actually not that worried about it this time. I will have all of my reinforcements there with me :) I know that Chance and I are through, and even though it makes me sad...it's time to move on. I am hoping that during this visit, we can begin a friendship so that we can be the best parents for Rylee. She deserves it, and I am willing to do anything to make that little girl happy!

Ok, I think my novel is long enough now....Thanks for reading if you are and I am very blessed to have so many people that love me and Rylee. Thank you for all of your support and love over the past 25 years of my life! Love you! <3